Central Lutheran Church - Elk River
Central Lutheran Church - Elk River
Why You Shouldn't Ask Why {Reflections}
What if the question "Why?" is the wrong question to ask when faced with life's toughest trials? Episode 60 of the Reflections podcast invites you to join Ryan and Mike as they explore this profound inquiry. Drawing from Ryan's personal experiences in his pastoral work, including a heart-rending funeral for a young girl and a church building project that hit an unexpected snag, we challenge the instinctive drive to seek out reasons in the midst of suffering. Both stories highlight the natural human desire to understand the purpose behind pain and loss, yet we often find that answers are elusive or inadequate.
Shifting perspective, this episode encourages pivoting from asking "why" to "how" and "what's next," fostering avenues for healing and growth. By focusing on actionable questions, we seek guidance not just from faith, but also from mentors and community leaders, offering pathways for resilience and renewal. Listen in as we discuss transforming grief and setbacks into opportunities for personal and communal strength, encouraging a mindset that moves beyond the need for explanations and into the realm of empowering action.
Join us! Facebook | Instagram | www.clcelkriver.org
What is up everybody? Hey, welcome to our Reflections podcast. My name is Ryan and Mike just told me this is episode 60. Welcome to episode 60. My gosh, hey, glad you're here.
Speaker 1:I wanted to talk about this morning one of the questions that I think people ask all the time, and they ask it of God or, you know, the universe, or of themselves, and I just I think, the longer I've been doing pastoral work, I think the question is, I understand why we ask this question, but I think it's maybe not the most interesting question to ask when it comes to things like suffering or pain or discomfort in the world. Now here's the question Many of us, when we encounter like suffering or pain or discomfort or loss, the first thing we ask is why, why did this happen? Why did God allow this? Why me? Why didn't I get a heads up on that? The church I pastor, we're doing a building project and it's been going very, very smoothly and we just recently hit a pretty large hiccup and hiccup is an understatement, but the point is that we didn't know about it until recently. There's been some troubles on the backside, but certainly it would seem God would have known about it many, many months ago. And the question that maybe would raise to the tops of a lot of our minds here at Central is like, hey, why didn't God give us a heads up on this a long time ago, even in a more difficult situation?
Speaker 1:One of my first funerals I did as a young man here at Central was for a beloved young teenage girl and she had a brain tumor and we prayed for her for many, many months and she went into surgery and we prayed for her that and the surgery was more or less a success. There were some complications, but she came out of that and was doing well on the road to recovery and then, out of nowhere, she was struck with pneumonia and then died, and many people in fact. Her mom asked me, ryan, why, why did this happen? And look, I understand on both of these occasions why we want to ask why. But here's what I've learned over the course of many years as being a pastor.
Speaker 1:It's such a tough question because when you ask that question, I rarely ever, if ever, get any answers. And even if you do get an answer, I'm not sure it does much to mitigate the loss or the damage. For example, if I could tell that mom why her daughter died. It doesn't bring her daughter back, and the question really comes out of a place of grief or loss and sadness. And so, whatever the answer might be, it doesn't bring back the thing that you lost. And even for us, why didn't God give us a heads up on this headache or this hurdle we were about to encounter in the fall here, when certainly God would have known about, about to encounter in the fall here, when certainly God would have known about it way back in the winter? And even if I knew the answer, it doesn't make the problem go away. And here's what, again, as I've said, whenever I ask the question, why I don't get an answer. But I think it's maybe because it's not the best question to ask, or at least not to live there. I think it's fine to ask it at first, like why, god you know, and allow that to be a sort of an outpouring of your grief.
Speaker 1:Rather, here are some other questions I think would be better to ask. One is how, okay, lord, now that I've been through this really difficult thing, I've lost this loved one, or I've lost this part of my business, or this project I've worked on for a long time didn't work, this part of my business or this project I've worked on for a long time didn't work. And how can I move forward from this moment and from this point on? That's more of an interesting question. You can get some real, tangible answers back from God and from mentors and leaders in your community. How can I move forward? What is another question? So what's next for me then? What's the next step I can take, coming out of this tragedy, out of this chaos, out of this disorder? What's next? What would you have me to do next, god? Again, going back to the how, how can I handle this moment, this loss, with dignity and with grace and with humility?
Speaker 1:There's another friend of mine who is dying. I went to go visit him and I visit a lot of folks who was dying. I went to go visit him. I visit a lot of folks who are dying. You know how it can be, or maybe you don't, but you can imagine a lot of folks handle death and dying in a variety of ways for all the obvious reasons. This one man that I met he lives in another town and we were just talking with him. He was very angry about his death that's kind of on the horizon here for him. He's very upset about it and very bitter towards God and he had a wonderful life and it was all kind of taken from him rather rapidly towards the end here and he was just really upset and I told him I go, hey, man, I love you and God loves you. But here's the stark truth in this moment you are going to die either way. How do you want to handle it? You can handle like this. You can go out like this, like just with your fists clenched and bitter and angry at God, or you can approach this and handle dignity and grace and mercy.
Speaker 1:I just did a funeral a couple weekends ago for a man who sort of a different way of looking at it. I went and met with him. He had known for about a year. He was dying of cancer. Just a beautiful and well-beloved. Both these men were beloved men and beautiful.
Speaker 1:But this guy, he said Ryan, I'm ready. And he had just a different approach. He's like I'm ready, I'm open to whatever God has for me. I want to face this with dignity and with grace. And he had decided early on because both of them could ask why? Why, god, did it happen this way? Why am I dying? There's all these why, but rather this guy said, hey, how can I face death even in this great way, in this beautiful, you know, kind of entering into the presence of God kind of way? So, yeah, so I'm trying to learn as a pastor.
Speaker 1:How can I help people ask the right questions and the right questions? I think why is fine, but I think, living there, it ends up becoming just a sort of a I don't know, a cavernous question.
Speaker 1:There's no answers that come back with the why question, but rather how can we ask how and what, what's next for me, god?
Speaker 1:What do you want me to do next and how can I handle this with grace and maturity and with beauty and dignity even? And how can I move forward? What's the next thing to do and that can move you forward into the next thing for you? So may you ask good questions of God I think it's great to ask questions of God and may you ask the right ones, like how and what and what's next for me, god. How can I handle this burden, because life is full of all kinds of things that you could easily ask why, and I think it's fine to ask it, but instead live in the moments of like how do I handle this, god, and what's next for me? All right, peace. Love you guys. Hey, if you enjoy this show, I'd love to have you share it with some friends. And don't forget you are always welcome to join us in person at Central in Elk River at 8.30, which is our liturgical gathering, or at 10 o'clock, our modern gathering, or you can check us out online at clcelkriverorg. Peace.
