Central Lutheran Church - Elk River
Central Lutheran Church - Elk River
Balancing Attachments: A Journey of Self-Reflection {Reflections}
As a lifelong Denver Broncos fan, I’ve experienced the exhilarating highs and crushing lows that come with sports fandom. But one Monday night game against the Dolphins became a wake-up call, highlighting the intense emotional energy I invested in something beyond my control. In this episode of the Reflections podcast, I invite you on a journey of self-awareness and reflection, sharing how this moment led me to reassess my attachments and consider their impact on my well-being. Join me as we explore the concept of Advent—waiting, expecting, and seeing the world with fresh eyes—to uncover how our emotional investments shape our lives.
We’re also privileged to have actor Josh Duhamel join us, sharing his candid journey toward recognizing his unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Josh’s insights provide an important reminder of how vital it is to acknowledge our attachments and strive for healthier connections. Together, we explore the subtleties of our experiences and the importance of mindfulness during the Advent season. Whether you’re a sports fan or navigating your own personal journey, this episode offers thought-provoking discussions and practical wisdom for finding balance and clarity in a world full of distractions.
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What is up everybody? Hey, my name is Ryan and I am a pastor here in Elk River, minnesota, the greatest city in all of Minnesota. You know it's true. Hey, and welcome to our Reflections podcast. It's Advent season. I mentioned last week a bit about what Advent is all about. But Advent is this time of waiting and expecting and kind of having our eyes open, and I want to tell you a couple of stories, because I think part of what I want to you know, invite us to today is like hey, how can we live our lives with our eyes wide open to notice things that maybe other people might not notice? So here's a really, I guess, kind of cheeky example.
Speaker 1:When I was younger, I'm a huge Denver Broncos fan, so forgive the sports analogy and story here, but it's what I know. It's my language. So when I was younger, I was like a diehard Broncos fan. I lived and died with the Broncos. I loved it. I still do, but it's changed.
Speaker 1:And here's why, when I was about 20, I don't know, 21, 22, I was over at a buddy's house watching the Broncos play the Dolphins. I'll never forget it. It was like a Monday night game and we're over there hanging out. It was a late game because those games would go late and the Broncos scored a touchdown right at the end with a minute to go in the game and it seemed like we were going to win. And so I was elated. Me and my buddy were celebrating, we're cheering, we're screaming because we were maniacs, like sometimes young men can be, and we're like high-fiving and hugging and like the elation. Looking back, now, that's a lot, it's excessive a bit, which is it's fandom, you know. So I was like going crazy. Well, we still had like 45 seconds to go and we kicked off to the Dolphins and they ran the ball back like 60 yards and immediately the elation in my spirit was gone and I was like uh-oh and I realized we might not win this game. And then the Dolphins like one or two good passes downfield and with like five seconds to go, the Dolphins kicked a field goal and won the game. Now, if you're a Vikings fan, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Just kidding, I love you guys, I love you Vikings fans.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I was devastated and this was like week 12. It wasn't like a playoff game or the Super Bowl, it was like week 12 at home against the Dolphins. But I left that night depleted, I'm not exaggerating. I drove home and I was like I am not in a good way and I had this moment of awakening where I was like what on earth just happened? The high I felt when the Broncos, this team, whom I don't know, any of these guys, they were playing miles away from where I was. None of them know me, I'm not related to any of these guys, I don't pay their salaries, we're not friends, but I'm like, I'm like so invested in this team and that's. I'm not here to critique sports fandom. I'm just saying it was kind of weird how elated I got. And then, when they lost, I was so devastated I ruined my night and I was driving home like why am I so upset about this game and this team? And look again, I think fandom and loyalty is great, but I was like, personally, I was struck by the fact that I was so overwhelmed, up and down emotional. What is my problem? And I'll tell you what I noticed in that moment. This is not healthy for me, and it was that moment where it began to sort of wane a bit. Now I still love the Broncos, I cheer for them, but it took me probably 20 more years to just begin to let go of this unhealthy attachment I had to this team that doesn't know me from anybody and vice versa, and I still cheer for them. I love it. But my point is that I noticed how bizarrely this thing affected me.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I heard another story by Josh Duhamel. He's a famous actor and he was on this podcast talking about his relationship with alcohol and he was like this is what he said. I think Josh Duhamel's like 50. Now he goes. I've noticed that I have this unhealthy attachment to alcohol. He goes because I'd come home from work or whatever, like 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I'd have a vodka and Red Bull. I was like dang bro at 3 in the afternoon, because then I'd have one more at 5 o'clock and I'd have one more at 8 o'clock. He had like four or five of these every night. I was like one how do you have a Red Bull that late at night and not be jacked up the next day? But also, he's like I had all these vodka, red Bulls every day and he's like and I thought to myself, after 50 years, I'm like this is not a healthy attachment to this drink and so he began to dial it back and he goes. Now I'm down, I might have one or two a night. I'm like that still seems like a lot of vodka, red Bull, but my point is, he noticed after all these years that he's got this unhealthy attachment to vodka and Red Bulls.
Speaker 1:Now listen, is being a fan of a sports team good or bad? Innately? I don't think so. I don't know. It's not. It's not like it's anything. It's. That's like asking our clouds good or bad. Is having a drink after work a good or bad thing? Innately? I don't know? I'm not really. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I do know, though, that both of those things can get out of whack quickly, and so here's what I think I want to invite you just to take stock and notice in your life I don't know, today, tomorrow, in the weeks and maybe especially during Advent what are the things in your life that just seem a bit out of whack? Is there a way for you to open up your eyes a bit wider during Advent and, just being a note, just like I don't know have a curiosity about your life? So like if you were to step back and just be curious about your own life and, I would say, about your reactions to things. So like I always tell one of my, one of my kids, I'm like, hey, you had like a level eight reaction there to a level five infraction, those are. Or even like a level nine reaction to like a level one infraction. Or like somebody cuts you off in traffic on accident and you're freaking out like screaming and yelling and swearing and want to punch him. Like that's a level nine reaction to maybe like a level three infraction. Notice those moments, be curious. Like why did I react that way? Be curious about it. So one about your reactions.
Speaker 1:Number two any attachments that you have. Like hey, I've got to do this one thing, I have to have this drink, I have to watch this TV show, I have to have my phone on me. These unhealthy or out of whack, out of balance attachments Be curious about. Like hey, why do I have this inclination or this almost like dependency on X, y or Z? And I think those are things that are really would be good to be curious about.
Speaker 1:So during Advent, may you have your eyes open, may you be awake and may you explore the things in your life that are like maybe out of whack or out of balance or just off a tiny bit. May you have honesty enough to like, examine them, like hey, why do I respond that way? Or why do I have this desire to have this thing in my life? This may be unhealthy or out of balance attachment, and may you know that Jesus said life. This may be unhealthy or out of balance, attachment. And may you know that Jesus said I've come to give life and life to the fall. And so may you experience life this Advent season. All right, love you guys, peace. Hey, if you enjoy this show, I'd love to have you share it with some friends. And don't forget, you are always welcome to join us in person at Central in Elk River at 8.30, which is our liturgical gathering, or at 10 o'clock, our modern gathering, or you can check us out online at clcelkriverorg. Peace.
