Central Lutheran Church - Elk River

What Is That To You? with Pastor Ryan Braley

• Central Lutheran Church

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Ever catch yourself scanning someone else’s lane and wonder why your joy suddenly feels thin? We walk through a powerful scene at the end of John’s Gospel where Peter, freshly restored and given a costly calling, glances at another disciple and asks, “What about him?” Jesus answers with a line that lands like freedom: “What is that to you? You follow me.” From that exchange we open a wider conversation about comparison, envy, and the subtle ways our attention drifts from purpose to performance.

We trace how our culture moved from savoring moments to capturing and then sharing them, and how that shift ties our identity to feedback loops we can’t control. Along the way, we dig into the neuroscience of envy—why it activates pain pathways and links what we see in others to what we believe about ourselves. Then we bring in the witness of Scripture: Proverbs on envy and peace, Ecclesiastes on rivalry, Paul’s call to adopt the mind of Christ, and Peter’s own later wisdom on using our gifts to serve. The thread running through it all is a gentler way to live: attention to calling over comparison, faithfulness over ranking, freedom over fear.

You’ll hear candid stories, practical shifts for daily life, and clear guidance for parents who want to champion their kids’ unique paths without turning them into second chances. We won’t pretend outcomes are ours to command; instead, we focus on what’s entrusted to us and let results fall where they may. If you’ve been exhausted by the highlight reel, come reset your gaze. Your worth isn’t crowdsourced, your path is particular, and there’s real joy in doing what’s yours to do.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs the reminder, and leave a review to help others find it. Then tell us: what’s yours to do this week?

Join us! Facebook | Instagram | www.clcelkriver.org


unknown:

Amen.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you, Richard. Let's pray. God give you thanks this morning for your presence here with us. And we do ask you would lead us and guide us this morning as we unpack this passage in the final week of our series here. And we just pray that by your Spirit, would you give us new eyes, eyes to see, and ears to hear? And uh as always, would you wake us up in the ways that we need it so desperately, God, all the ways we've fallen asleep? Would you uh resurrect the parts of us that have died and and uh give us soft hearts, hearts of flesh where our hearts have grown hardened? And uh yeah, we just put our faith and our trust in you, even just in just tiny fractional ways this morning, we just declare our trust in you and and uh yeah, we look to you for help this morning. And would you bless our time in Jesus' name? Amen. Amen. You can be seated. Morning, everyone. So I had both Ellie and Bobby Joe in confirmation a while ago. It's so great to see them having families. Oh my gosh, and how they keep getting older, and I don't I don't get any older at all. I just stay the same. It's weird how all these kids No, it's super fun though to see them have families and get married and baptize their kids, and it's really, really great. So uh welcome to Central. Uh, my name is Ryan, and uh we are at the end of our sermon series here that we're calling it's called uh This Isn't Rhetorical. It's we're examining the different questions that Jesus asked in the Gospels. Jesus asks over 300 questions, and they're incredible. And uh some are rhetorical, some aren't rhetorical. Uh rhetorical meaning like when he would ask them not to get an answer back, but to teach a lesson. And the one today uh is not rhetorical. Or no, it is rhetorical. I get confused all the time. And uh it's a great question. And the question that he asks to Peter is what is that to you? And so I hope this morning you can hear that question asked of you from Jesus this morning, if you would. And maybe you're here this morning, like, I don't know if I believe in God or this faith or religion or Jesus. I don't know about all that. No problem. Uh just kind of we're glad you're here. I'm I really am glad you're here. And uh I encourage you to keep wrestling and trying to explore your own faith and why you're here. And um, but I'm guessing you're here because there's some small party that's just curious about all this and made this question ring in your ears this morning as well. If you were here last week, we asked the question, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? I want to just say I appreciate I got so much feedback from that with people sharing their stories with me of their own God-forsaken moments and places they felt weak and vulnerable and lost and confused. And I was encouraged because it just reminds me that, yeah, we're all in this together and we're all feeling like that in moments, you know, we're like, what is what is happening? And so it just reminds me that we're all in good company and we're all trying to figure this out together. And so uh so be it. And we also are echoing the question that Jesus himself asked. And so that's actually that's something, you know. So uh I appreciate your your honesty and vulnerability to share your stories with me. This morning, though, what is that to you? He asks. Now, uh, before I give you some background, I heard this incredibly philosophical, profound conversation by two really modern deep thinkers and philosophers. Uh their names are Theo Vaughn and Matthew McConaughey. And maybe you heard their interview. Actually, it was really both quite brilliant. And uh and so Matthew McConaughey brought up this idea that 30 years ago, you know, back in the olden days, back in the 1900s, back then when we had horse and buggy. Anyway, back then, a person's biggest dopamine rush would come from the moment. Like whatever the moment was, like the moment you asked the girl for a date, the moment you hit that home run in that high school baseball game, the moment you're at the concert, you're just belting out the lyrics with your friends, like that was the biggest dopamine rush in your day. And fast forward several more years, maybe a decade or so, and the phone is invented, and the phone can then capture all these moments. And what changes in when that happens, the the biggest dopamine rush in your day is no longer the moment, but it's you capturing the moment. So now you're like one ring removed from the actual moment, and now it's you snapping a picture of yourself asking the girl to marry you, or it's you taking a photo uh of the concert or taking video, and you're that's the biggest dopamine rush. Not in the moment, but you recording the moment or taking a snapshot of the moment, or someone capturing you scoring the game winning touchdown. And so you're like one ring removed. Fast forward another couple of years, and today, the biggest dopamine rush we get is not in the moment, it's not in capturing the moment, it's in sharing the moment. So when I put it online and I share it for all to see, and I get all kinds of feedback and see what others think about what I posted and my moment that I had that I captured and I share it, which raises all kinds of important existential and societal questions. And this is what Matthew and Theo are talking about. Like who, who I'm looking I'm no longer the one in the moment, I'm the one capturing, owning the moment. Now I'm the one sharing the moment. And my joy and the moment is really dependent solely on what others think of the moment. And now my own identity, they both suggest, is now tied up with what others think about me and my experiences of life. And it's no longer just enough for me to experience the sunrise. And that's all that I need. I have to have others approve of my capture of the sunrise. Does that make sense? And this raises all kinds of problems because who I am now, in many ways, is dependent on what other people think of me. Well, there's a story in the gospels, it's at the end of John. That's when the story comes up. And John, Jesus, it's at the end, Jesus has been resurrected, and they're hanging out. And uh Jesus just asks Peter, you know this story probably, three times, do you love me? And Peter replies, three times, yes, I love you. And then Jesus says, Hey, okay, then feed my sheep, tend my sheep, take care of my sheep. And Jesus' like, Peter's like, I will. And then here's what happens next. So uh he says, Feed my sheep. And then Jesus actually tells Peter, by the way, you're gonna die a martyr's death. Meaning, this, I'm gonna have you feed sheep. That's your job, that's your task, take care of the church, the people, and it will cost you your very life. You're gonna die because of me. So he says, uh, truly I tell you, when you were younger, you dress yourself and you went where you wanted. But when you're old, he's like predicting the future for Peter. Uh, you'll stretch out your hands and somebody else will dress you and lead you where you don't want to go. Jesus says this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would uh glorify God. Uh, and then he says, Okay, but follow me. So imagine the emotional weight that this would be now on Peter. Do you love me? Yes, three times, of course I do. Okay, uh, also you're gonna die a martyr's death for the faith for my sake, because of this path I've put you on. And see you later. You know, it's got to be and uh imagine the emotional weight this would be on Peter. And here's what happens immediately following. So Peter is told, This is your path, this is where you're going, feed my sheep, you're gonna die a martyr's death. And the text says that Peter turns back. Now, I don't want to make too much of this, but the symbolism is profound to me. That here's the path for Peter, he's to go on it, what follow my sheep, it'll cost your life. And then it says Peter turns around. As if to indicate whatever happens next, whatever moment, whatever action, whatever statement, whatever question, it's facing the wrong way. You're to go this way, Peter, and he turns back, and whatever happens now, it's the wrong direction. And here's what Peter says to Jesus. He sees John, the one we think is John, the one whom Jesus loves, the beloved, and he says, uh, hey, what about him? Hey, what about him? Which is kind of a funny statement or question that Jesus just told him, Hey, you're this is gonna cost you your whole life. Here's what is yours to do. You're gonna feed my sheep, take care of the church, and this is what I want you to do in the unfolding, ongoing creation of the world that's happening all around us, this new thing I just launched. It's like all life is bursting forth all around us, and I want you to take care of these people, and I want you to, and it's gonna cost you everything. And he asks him, hey, uh, what about him? Jesus just told me, hey, this is what is yours, and Peter can't help himself. He sees that, hey, what about him? Which reminds me of a child. Like kids are always doing this, you know what I mean? Like you could tell a kid, hey, clean your room. And that kid, right, they want to ensure an equal distribution of suffering in the household. They they want it, you know. Clean my room. What about Susie? What about them? What about Susie? Like, oh, Susie, your sister? Yeah. Uh, buddy, she's 24, lives in California, is married, and has three kids, so we'll let her worry about and the kid's like, so what? I don't care. She should clean her room. We want a fair on your room. It's so funny that Peter asks this. He's just been told, hey, here's what's yours to do, and he turns around. Hey, what about him? What about him? What about him? Uh what do you what does that matter to you? Why would Peter ask this? Why does he ask this? And why does he care so much about John? Like, who cares? And here's the reply, the response from Jesus. I love it. He's like, listen, man, if it's my will that he remains until I come, what is that to you? Jesus, what about him? He's like, hey, dude, if he if I want him to live until I come, what what is that to you? In other words, hey, uh Peter, don't worry about it. Uh don't worry about it. That has nothing to do with you. I've already told you what's yours to do. That's got nothing to do with you. In other words, head down, eyes on your own paper, right, Mr. Peterson? Eyes on your own paper, focus on your thing, whatever I've got for you to do, and worry about that. Follow me. I will worry about John. John's not yours to worry about. It's so funny. Peter hears his own path. This is a very explicit path, and he can't help but to compare himself to John. Well, I know this is mine, but what about him? What about him? Now, by the way, this is a very common thing in discipleship groups. So back in the ancient world, you had a rabbi, a group of followers, they called them disciples. It was very common to be like, okay, who's the best? Who's the greatest? Who's the most beloved? Who's gonna be in the, you know, and this these are things that they would have already asked him. They they said already, uh, who's the greatest in the kingdom of God? And who's the most beloved? I mean, John calls himself the beloved. I mean, I don't know, okay, John, we got it. Like, this is very common in the ancient world. In fact, in Greco-Roman writing, there was often this uh in Plutarch, in Socrates, in Epictetus, there would be all these stories about two disciples and a master, and the disciples would be like comparing and contrasting, and the master would say, Hey, stop doing that. Just be faithful to what I've called you to do. It happens all the time. It's very common. In other words, this was a very culturally recognizable moment that happens with Peter and John. Like, uh, what about him? And Jesus said, Don't worry about him, you follow me. And I'm so glad that we don't have that problem today of comparing ourselves, like, what about them? You know, well, who's the best? Who's the greatest? Who's the who's the tallest? Who's the now? My mom, every Christmas, gets us all Christmas ornaments. That's one of my favorite things. She gets like unique, fun, crazy ones. And so every year we look forward to it. Well, one Christmas, I got this one that just shocked me. See, here's some backstory. Growing up, I was always accused of being the favored one. I was the youngest, I was the baby. Apparently, I was never told no, which is a bunch of lies. Don't listen to them. I got whatever I wanted. It was like easy street for Ryan, which is none of this is true, by the way. They don't have any idea. Uh, I was called the golden-haired child. That was the fit, whatever, you know. And I'm like, uh secretly though, I was like, maybe I am. I don't know. What is it to you? And then one Christmas, um, I get my ornament. It was like maybe 10 years ago. So we're all adults, we have families, our kids are there. I opened the ornament, and I see it's an ornament of a young boy with a Santa hat on holding a sign that says, the youngest mom's favorite. But I was like, I can't believe she outed us. Like she she's telling everybody that I'm really the favorite. I can't believe she would do this. She said the quiet thing out loud. And I was a bit embarrassed. I'm like, I can't believe she's doing this. This is so humiliating. What are we gonna do? How are we gonna keep this a secret now? You know, and I was actually like, I can't believe she did that. Like the gall. She must have missed it, must have been a Freudian slip. Like, she really is, I am the favorite, but she didn't mean. So I show Katie, who's much smarter than I am, and Katie in her infant wisdom just rolled her eyes at me, like, in other words, idiot. She goes, and Katie goes, look around, Ryan. And I did, and I noticed all my siblings opening an ornament that says, the oldest mom's favorite, the middle mom's favorite. At which point I grabbed my ornament, I threw it against the wall. This is a sham, my whole life is a lie. And I smashed theirs too, my siblings. Yeah, this is very common to like who where are we? Where is my what's my place? And then these discipleship groups, they would do this. And it was a warning, Jesus, and also in these other Greco-Roman writings, it was a warning because here's why. Because envy and jealousy and comparison and worrying about other people always, always, always robs us of joy. Just does. There's science behind this. There's fMRI scans that look kind of like this. And these are things that kind of they measure brain activity and they show that envy triggers the same neural pathways as physical pain. Like, get that. Envy triggers the same neural pathways as physical pain. Which means when we envy or experience envy, it often causes or induces actual physical pain. Even though we've had nothing physically happen to us, and even though we've lost nothing, like we nothing changed. Except we have this envy, and it's sort of caused this physical reaction in our bodies. Isn't that crazy? So jealousy, comparison, envy, it induces a physical pain reaction in the brain. And those same parts in our brain light up. Also, there's this part of your brain called the uh the medial uh prefrontal cortex, and it it sort of lights up also when you experience envy. And this is like the seat of self-evaluation, they say. So the part of you that links how you feel about yourself with what you see in others. And this lights up in the uh in that uh medial prefrontal cortex. That part of your brain that that sort of it's sort of the seat of self-evaluation that connects how you what you see in others do or what they have, and and it links that to what how you feel about yourself. It lights up. In other words, there's this um what you see in others impacts how you think about yourself and what you believe about yourself. It's shocking. It lights up. What you see in others impacts how you believe what you believe about yourself. This is why that summer you went on vacation with your family and you went to the North Shore up in Duluth and you stayed at the Lutzen Resorts and you had you played board games and had a great time, like loved it. Your kids were little, you're a beautiful time. You came home and felt fulfilled and rested. Like, this is a wonderful vacation. Until you heard about your brother-in-law who took his family to the North Shore in Hawaii. You're like, Dad, gummit. I didn't, uh I can't believe it. Now you feel a bit foolish. You're embarrassed to even say the North Shore. Oh, Hawaii? No, no, Duluth. I mean, it's and you feel like kind of like a loser. And now your kids are like, Yeah, you are a loser, Dad. We didn't go to the we could have gone to Hawaii. We went to the Yeah, that's why that happens. And immediately you're kind of robbed of all that stuff. Why you have this job, and like most days your job is fulfilling, you love it, you're excited to go to it. You come home like just feeling gratified and grateful. And then one of your coworkers, you see them get a promotion. And suddenly you're like, wait a minute, what's wrong with me? Why didn't I get a promotion? Like, and now my job is suddenly not as fulfilling. Nothing changed. But now I'm like, I'm just kind of disgruntled. I'm angry, like, why didn't I get the promotion? What happened to me? What's wrong with me? Or maybe you're a parent and you're hanging out with friends, and they're parents also, and this is sometimes how young parents work. Don't raise your hands at this. And uh, one of your other friends comments on another friend like about how great they are as parents. And they're like, Oh, you guys are such good parents. And then meanwhile, you're standing there, like, I mean, I'm a parent too. I don't know. I mean, did you know did you know I parent as well? You want to say anything about my parenting skills? And you're like, I don't know. I mean, I think I'm pretty good. And then suddenly you're doubting your own parenting skills because they gave them a compliment. I know that's probably true. I'd probably suck as a dad. You know what? You should take my kids. You're better at that than I am. I don't know what I'm doing. What am I doing? Or you're at the gym and you're like, I'm I'm I'm doing all right. I'm I'm I'm losing some weight. I'm you know, I'm I'm five pounds added to my bench press, and then suddenly this gigantic behemoth of a jacked woman goes walking by, and you're like, or man, or man, whatever. You're like, oh, I I'm not that big after all. I feel like a puny little wimp now. I'm gonna go home and cry in my pillow. Yeah, because we can't help it. And somehow there's a connection between what I see in others and how I feel about myself, and that friend who bought the house before you did it, or the kid who or the person whose kid is like just a stud of an athlete, and your kid is like can barely tie their own shoes. And maybe in Bible stuff, you have this one person who prays, and they're just like our master prayer, and you stink at praying. I don't know. It's just yeah, there's all these comparisons that go back and forth, and maybe you have a sister-in-law who reads one book every single day, sometimes two books a day, and you're like, How on earth do you do that? I love it. Yeah. So, in many ways, their lives, other people's lives, directly impact us and how we feel about our lives. And Jesus says, What is that to you? You follow me. It's brilliant. What is that to you? Don't worry about that. Head down, eyes on your own paper, you follow me. There's all this more science, it's uh actually astounding. We compare because we're actually neurologically kind of wired to. It's some sort of evolutionarily sort of wired thing into our into our brains, how we how we do it. We compare because our brains are kind of built to. We don't know what big means unless we compare it to something small. We don't know what uh maybe round is unless we know what square is. And so there's all these ways we naturally just compare and contrast. Our brains are kind of built to to understand what anything means. Also, it saves mental energy. If I don't have to access old memories or old thoughts, I can just compare myself to you. It just makes it a lot easier just to compare and like point at you, and then I can kind of know where I am. It saves some energy in that way. It also helps us navigate social life. So we as human beings, for whatever reason, we like to sort of function in hierarchies. When you walk into a room, immediately everyone's sort of sizing each other up, right? Because we like hierarchy. It makes us feel comfortable. Who's in charge, who's not in charge, who's got something to do. We like this. It helps us navigate social life. Also, it gives us feedback on our identity. Hey, how am I doing? Now, I'm not saying it's good feedback. I'm just saying it's feedback. And we like feedback. How am I doing? And it gives that. It also is it's automatic and it's unconscious, this idea. It's it's it's it happens all us, even knowing it. But here's the problem: it impacts us, this sort of wired brain activity. It impacts us in all kinds of ways. It distorts our own happiness. I'm no longer happy with Lutzen, the North Shore of Superior, my great time agate hunting, because my brother-in-law went to Hawaii. Well, my trip sucked, you know. And my happiness and my joy is gone. It immediately is evaporated. I feel envy. It fuels envy because somebody always has it better than I do, and they're better than me, and I wish I was them, and I long for what they have. I long for their trip and their experiences, and I can't help but feel envy, which results in physical pain sometimes because of the way my brain is wired. And what a bummer that is. It also activates the threat centers because anyone who's better than you is a threat. And if you don't believe me, just ask any 20-year-old hanging out at the bar. They know. Or ask any athlete trying to make a team. They know, oh Tommy, he's better than I am. He's my enemy now. I don't like that guy, you know. Or ask anyone going for a promotion amongst other people in their job. The other person that's better, that's more equipped or better skilled immediately becomes a threat. How about this one? It induces, or sorry, reduces empathy. Any German speakers in the house today? There's a word called Schodenfreude. Anyone know this word? Schodenfreude? Schodenfreude? It's this idea that uh in the brain, you're these um the these parts of your brain that like are like uh desirous or that are like uh like um like uh celebration parts of your brain, they they light up when somebody above you fails. It's like when the guy above you at work is sick, you're like, oh, that's too bad. That's too bad. Sorry about that. Or when the quarterback on the team and you're the backup, when they break their leg, oh that's so sad. I'm so sorry about that. Too bad for that guy. I better get ready. Sorry about that. Or the kid who you've been comparing your kid to suddenly uh gets expelled for punching someone, like, oh, that's too bad. I'm sorry about that. Show them for that, you know. Yeah, it's not good and it's unbecoming, but it's what we do. Also, there's this uh changes how we make decisions because I want to only decide, I only choose things based on what you might approve or not approve of, or what you might like on my social media pages, or what you might sort of uh think I should do. And it changed, not what I want to do, what you think I should do. It also shapes our emotional lives. We're up and we're down, we're all over the place, and lastly it destabilizes our own self-worth because my self-worth again is based on what you think of me or what you're doing and how I compare or contrast or measure up or don't measure up. Yeah, it's a real hassle. Jesus' words to Peter is not a rebuke, it's a liberation. Hey! Hey, look at me. Don't worry about John. I'll worry about John. You follow me. What is that to you anyway? That's got nothing to do with you. You follow me. He's not scolding Peter, he's inviting Peter into a new way of being a human. There's a new creation, and Jesus says, Don't worry about him. You are about me, and what I'm telling you to do, you follow me. Yeah. You don't have to be him. You have to be you. He's telling him, hey, adopt the mind of Christ. Remember, Paul wrote, if you remember my dynamic earth-shattering sermon from months ago. I hope you remember. Paul writes, adopt the mind of Christ. Have the same mind as Christ. Phronesis is the Greek word. In other words, adopt the way of seeing the world that Christ has. See reality as it really and truly is. See, we see reality in all kinds of distorted ways. And Jesus is like, no, don't think about it that way. I know your brain's kind of wired that way, but don't worry about it. See it how I see it. And do what I'm telling you to do. Keep your eyes on your own paper. What is that to you? Adopt the mind of Christ. He's setting Peter free from comparison, from fear of never living up, from an inadequate sort of sensation or insecurities in Peter's own life. He's freeing Peter to be Peter. You don't have to be John. Don't worry about John. You be you. What is that to you anyway? I love it. He's liberating Peter. And he's liberating you and I as well. The Bible's full of these verses, by the way, too, in case you didn't know. So, for example, in 2 Corinthians, Paul writes, hey, but when they measure themselves one by each other and compare themselves, they don't show good sense. I love it. Eugene Peterson's rephrasing or paraphrasing the Bible, he writes it this way but in all this comparing and grading and competing, they quite missed the point. It's good. How about this one? Uh Proverbs, a heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. He's also telling you that peace and comparison or envy cannot coexist. They're mutually exclusive, which is why many of us lack peace. Because we're so full of envy and comparison. Envy rots the bones, but peace gives life to the body. Also, Ecclesiastes is my favorite book in the Bible, one of them anyway. The wise writer says, Hey, and I saw that all the toil and all the achievement spring from a person's envy of another. In other words, all the success and all the people things they're doing which are good and great. It's only because they're trying to beat that guy or beat that woman. That's all it is, man. And that's all vapor. It's a chasing after the wind. You're never going to catch it. And if you do, the minute you catch it, it's gone. It's all meaningless. Don't worry about it. Also, there's this one from 1 Peter. It says, Each of you should use whatever gift you have have received to serve others. Uh as faithful stewards of God's grace. So whatever you've been given, use it to serve others. By the way, do you know who wrote 1 Peter? Peter. Years later, he writes this. He got it. He gets it. Jesus tells him, dude, don't worry about John. Just do your thing. I mean, I got I got a plan, I got a path for you. Don't worry about him. And Peter does it. He gets it. Hey, guys, use whatever gift you've received and bless the world. Decide now that you won't spend and waste your precious, precious energy and time comparing your life to somebody else's. It's a waste. Stop doing it. Keep your head down, eyes on your paper, and you follow me. What does any of that have to do with you? Nothing. But it's so easy. I was in the uh at home a couple a week or two ago, and I was thinking about my high school days, you know, the glory days, and I was remembering two friends I had in this program I was in, and they were like, not great friends, but they were friends, and I was like, I wonder what they're doing these days. Which is sometimes the beginning of the end. You know, to be like, what was that? And I looked them up. And one guy's name is Christian, he's this handsome dude. And uh, well, he went to Northwestern University and got a good degree there in economics, and then he went to Northwestern like business school and Kellogg or whatever, something fancy, and then got a job at Procter Gamble and worked his way up. He's a senior executive at Procter Gamble, making high six figures. You can find this online if you Google it, and living in a million-dollar plus house in Cincinnati. And I was like, oh, that's good for him, man. Good for him. That's great. That's great. Good for him. I should go mow the lawn or something. That's good for him. Good for Christian, you know, my little two by two square lawn out in the front. That's barely big enough to have a dog. I don't know. It's fine, that's good. Whatever. Another friend of mine, her name is Heidi. She went to Pepperdine University. Perhaps you've heard of that university, and studied English and French. I had a French class with her. Well, she went on to study French at a higher level than I did. Good for her. And uh went to Pepperdine Law, study law, and now she's the intern, we'll probably get the actual title of the city attorney for Santa Monica. Great. Good for her. I'm sure she's so happy. Good for her. I don't regret that at all. It's fine. It's good. Pepperdine. I've heard Pepperdine. Meanwhile, your pastor went to Bethel University here in St. Paul. Yeah, which is a great school. Great school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First year. Not quite California Pepperdine, but it's fine. We're doing fine. And immediately I was like, oh my gosh. What the? And I regretted it because when I was in high school, I uh, for all kinds of reasons, I lacked a certain level of discipline. I kind of did it halfway, and I was just lazy and I didn't give it my all. And I regret that, by the way, I do regret it. And I'm like, where could I have been if I had just put myself to the thing, you know, and done my thing? And my friend Bob, is Bob here? Bob Refrect? No, okay, Bob. He goes, I was telling him, I was lamenting to Bob. He goes, Yeah, but Ryan, would you want to work at Procter and Gamble and sell crest and Tide and these kinds of products to people? I go, No, I don't want to do that. He goes, You want to be a city attorney in Santa Monica? I'm like, not really. No. He's like, what are you what are you worried about, dude? I'd want his house, though. It's a nice house. It's a million dollars. But he's like, yeah, dude. And I really, I'm like, you know what though? If I had put myself to the task in high school and done my thing, I probably would have ended up doing something like this anyway. Because this is mine to do. I was always kind of wired this way. I'm like, I don't have to worry about that. What does that have to do with me? This is mine to do. This is my story. That's their story. And I'm losing joy by comparing what I know about myself to what I don't know about them. How do I know what their struggles are? They could have all kinds of struggles. He could have a failed marriage. I don't know that. His kids might hate him. I don't know. I mean, God forbid, I'm just saying that maybe. I don't know what her life is like. Maybe she maybe she hates being the city attorney. How do I know? I don't know. I only know my life. Also, I have no idea how they got there. Maybe he worked 18 hours a day for the last 15 years. I don't want to do that. Maybe he did, and that's what he got. Good for him. How do I know? I can't compare what I know about myself to what I don't know about them. It doesn't work that way. You might know this gentleman. Bruce Springsteen, for many years, if you didn't know, wrestled and struggled with depression. Like, Bruce? The boss? No way. That dude gave three plus hour concerts. He was the man, endless energy, thriving in his 60s and 70s. Like, that's the guy. He's the man. I love that guy. Good style, too, you know? Yeah. Yeah, struggled with depression.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe you know this person is Mother Teresa. Like the icon of faith, like an actual saint that we know. She worked with the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, India, gave her life to this whole thing. And yet when she died, they published her private journals, and in those pages were lament uh lamentations and of her feeling like she was losing her faith and like doubt, like she doubted that God was present and that doubted that God loved her. It was unbelievably vulnerable. You're like, Mother Teresa doubted God? She's like, she's the next best thing to God. How could she doubt God? Yeah, we don't know. We don't know people's struggles. We have no idea. You have your life, and your life isn't their life. Their life isn't your life. You, in what ways perhaps, are you asking? Hey, what about them? When a better question is rather like, no, no, no, no. What does that have to do with you at all, anyway? And even a better one is like, no, what's yours to do? Who are you to be? Who's God called you to be? What's he asking you to do? Because here's the thing: you has never been done before. It hasn't. You, with all your variables and mixtures of people and presences in your life, and experiences and struggles and joys and pains and highs and lows, and the way you were raised with your parents and those neighbors and this experience of education at your school. And it's never been done before. And there's just no way to compare you with your mixture that is your life of the siblings you had and the sports you played and the musical instrument that you, you know, that you studied, and the things you didn't have access to, and the way you were raised, all that that makes you, you, you, and your life your life. It's never been done before. And you are a gift to the world. And Jesus will say to you, yeah, you, you, go be you. Don't worry about them. Head down, eyes on your own paper. And I want you to follow me. I've got things for you to do. Yeah, do that. That's way more interesting than worrying about them. So the question is, what's yours to do? Yeah, what's mine to do? What is it? Then once you've got to figure it out, throw yourself at it. Just go all in. Yeah, this is mine, this is my path. I'm going in. Peter does this. He doubles down. I'm gonna feed sheep. I'm gonna go this way. I'm gonna get martyred. Let's go. Might as well just go and enjoy it. Get into it. Throw your whole self in and let go of the outcomes. Because that's not yours to worry about either. Who knows how it will turn out? Maybe people will love it. Maybe folks will not understand it. Maybe they'll hate it. Maybe your family will reject you. Maybe they'll embrace you. Maybe you'll make new friends. Maybe you won't have any friends. Maybe who knows how it will turn out. I don't know. But just do what's yours to do anyway and let the outcomes take care of themselves because who knows what'll happen. It just might be what you needed. See, discipleship is a reorienting of the way our brains work. Not rejecting our brains is how we've kind of inherited these, you know, these sort of ancestral ways of being, but sort of rewiring them and adopting, as Paul writes, the mind of Christ. And seeing the world as though it really and truly is, and being liberated to be fully ourselves and who we are and to do what we're meant to do. See, comparison says that your worth depends on how you measure up. So when you're comparing and there's envy and jealousy, what about them? What about that? And then your worth always depends on how you measure up. And I'm telling you, there's always somebody stronger and smarter and uh more with more experience, who's willing to work harder and longer hours, who's taller, who's got more muscle, who's a better dancer. I mean, except for me, because I'm the greatest dancer of all time. There's always someone, so you're always gonna be miserable. You're never gonna be happy. The gospel says this though: your measure and your worth is fixed in Christ. He loves you for no reason. He just loves you because you're his child. I don't know. Why do you love your kid? Those of you that love your kid, I don't know, I just love them. The minute my kids were born, I would have given my life for them. I don't even know them yet. That's how God feels at least, at least that good about you. At least as good as that. That's where your worth comes from. That's the good news this morning. Is that you are you are infinitely loved by God, the creator of the whole universe. Your path is your path. You only have your path. What others are doing is theirs to worry about. It's not yours to worry about. By the way, quick note and I'll get out of your way. Uh, parents. Their path is their path.

unknown:

Okay?

SPEAKER_00:

Their path is not your second chance to live out your path. Okay? It's their path. Your job is to help them find their path and help along the way. Give them water, give them uh jerky, you know, give them a backpack, get them on the path and help cheer them on. It's their path. It's not your path. You might have some good ideas, offer them, but it's not yours to control. It's not yours to deal with. I mean, get them on there, help them. That's their path. Also, when they're younger, especially, the kid next to you, the neighbor, that's his path. It's not your path. If he's a star pitcher and gets all A's and God bless that kid, Lord blessed. I get it, I get it, but it's not your path. What does that have to do with you? It's had nothing to do with you. That's his path. I don't know what his struggles are or what he's really like and what he does. I don't know. I got my own path and my kid's path. My kid is, I love my kid, and I'll get him on his path. That's your job. The great Rabbi Zeusia, and I'll close with this story. He says, When I, when the end of the world comes and I stand before God, God won't ask me, Hey Zeusia, why weren't you Moses? He's not gonna ask me that. Hey Zeusia, why weren't you Moses? God will ask me, Hey Zeusia, why weren't you Zeusia? Why weren't you you? Central, may you hear the words echo in your brain, your soul, and your spirit this whole week. What has that to do with you? That's not yours. Eyes down, head down, eyes on your own paper. Follow me. Your path. That's what I want you to focus on. And give it all you've got and go for it. Put it, put it all in. And know that your worth and your value is not from likes and shares and what people think and who's got the better car and the better. I don't care. It's so boring. Your value and worth comes from you are the beloved son or daughter of God. That's all that matters. Now go and do you and be free. Amen.

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Ryan Braley

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