Stories Change The World with Kaycee Stanley

100,000 kids in the United States are waiting to be adopted, and there are about 300,000 churches. When you hear those numbers side by side, the problem starts to look less like an impossibility and more like a calling we can actually answer. We sit down with Casey Stanley, founder of the Real Hope Project, to talk about foster care adoption, why older youth still need a forever family, and what it looks like for the Church to “head for the hills” the way early Christians did for abandoned children.

We get real about the fear people feel around foster care and adoption, and we don’t pretend trauma disappears at the front door. Casey walks us through the stakes for kids who age out of the child welfare system, then introduces us to David, a teenager in Minnesota who is still waiting for the family that will show up for his whole life, not just until he turns 18. Along the way, we bust persistent myths: adoption from foster care is not the expensive option people assume, kids are not in care because they are “bad,” and “someone else will do it” is not a plan.

The heart of Real Hope is simple and bold: stories change the world. We unpack why the current system often reduces a child to a short blurb and then a case file filled with only the hardest moments, and how ethical, trauma-informed storytelling helps families see the whole kid. Casey also shares practical next steps, from monthly giving to funding a full video, plus an invitation to celebrate Real Hope’s 10-year anniversary gala.

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Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Thank you, Raman. You go ahead and take a seat. Well, it is with great pleasure this morning I get to introduce to you our keynote, our guest speaker, our guest preacher. Her name is Casey Stanley. We feel like she is one of ours, and you'll hear her story in a little bit. But she started with us back in 2010. 2009. Nine, 2009, as one of our student and family ministry assistant director to Pastor Ryan, who when Pastor Ryan was student and family director. She dated us for a while, about four years, and then she left us, not because it was unhealthy, but she pursued college education and went to Fuller for a little bit. Then she missed us and she came back to us. Then she broke up with us again. After a keynote, a speaker spoke to her about foster care when we all went to a Cube conference down in Denver, Colorado. I'm gonna let her tell that story. But Published share some of your love with your hands with Miss Casey Stanley.

Casey’s Story And Her Family

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Thank you, Sonia. Good morning, Central. It is so good to be with you guys this morning. I see so many familiar faces and so many new faces in the room. Like Sonia said, I was here on Staff at Central for about eight years. Got to learn and grow and be trained in leadership under some of the best leaders that I've ever met. Pastor Ryan Braille, Pastor Sonia, Pastor Paul Johansson at the time. Just learned and grew so much through my time here. And so every year when I get to come back to Central, it is just such a gift. It feels like such a homecoming to be here. Um, should I move this further from my mouth? All those, all those little pops we're hearing. Okay. Um, every time I'm here, I feel like everything, it like things grow and change every time I come back. The offices are in a new place now. You guys have this cool little clicky guy for the slides, which I just have to tell you guys, in the first service, I've never used one of these little clicky guys. Further? Okay. Is that better? Further up? Okay. Hello? All right, there we go. Thank you. In the first service, I kept using this little clicky guy and it kept not working, and the slides would move around, and I was like, what is okay, just forget it. And I was like, eventually stopped using it. Realized after the service it was upside down on my on my hand. I was clicking the wrong direction. So we're gonna try it again. Uh, like Sonia mentioned, um, well, I wanna I want to actually begin by introducing my family. So I was here on staff. I'm pretty sure, I can't remember exactly, but I think I met my husband, Pete Stanley, on my first day on staff at Central Lutheran on July 15th, in 2009. I think that's the day I met him. Pete grew up in this church, this bearded stud on the left. Um, his name is Pete. You can call him Pete Pie if you if you meet him. He loves that. On the right is our son Martez. We call him Tez or Tezi Weszi or Tezi Weszi Bing Bong. Pete loves that one. Uh for those of you who are not great at context clues, Tez is adopted. Uh we met Tez when he was 12. We adopted him when he was 13. He's gonna be 21 this fall, which is insane. And then we have these three little girls, Taika, Vinny, and Milo. They are five, four, and two. They are our biological daughters homemade. We call them our homemade babies. Tez is adopted. Uh, these girls are homemade. I feel like every time I'm here, I get to share a picture of my family, and there's like another kid on the picture every time. I don't know how that keeps happening. Uh that is my crew, and I am the founder and CEO of the Real Hope Project, which this church is really the founding church that launched Real Hope out into the world, and I get to share what will be probably some review for some of you, but then a lot of updates uh for all of you. And so I'm so excited to share this morning. Before I share any updates on Real Hope or explain more of what we do, I want to begin with a video that explains why we do it. So check this out.

The Hillside Story And The Church

SPEAKER_02 3:59

In the ancient world, there were children on the hills. Children who could not be cared for by their families, whether because of financial burden, sickness, or disability, or simply because she was a girl at a time when girls were not valued. Families had the option of taking their child to the hills. And when they got to the hillside, they would lay their child on the ground and walk away, knowing and intending that within minutes, hours, or days, this child would be a victim of the elements. There were children on the hills. This was not a rarity. This was not a scandal. In the ancient world, this was common, accepted, and expected. And then came Jesus. The church began sending search parties for the house. These search parties would sweep with the hills. One in four cannot go. That means there are one hundred thousand kids on the hillside.

Why Foster Care Adoption Matters

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Now many of you know that the Real Hope Project came out of this experience that Pete and I had early in our marriage before any of those beautiful kids were a part of our family. We noticed this trend when we would tell people that we wanted to adopt one day, that we felt like adoption was something that we were called to. And the trend was that usually when we would say we wanted to adopt, we would get a ton of support and excitement and enthusiasm, and people would be so excited for us and with us. But when we said we wanted to adopt from foster care, sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes those reactions would be pretty different. And the reaction would be more like, ooh. Have you done your research? Do you know what those kids are like? Have you heard the stories? And we always knew that that reaction came from a place of love, and people just wanted to know that we knew what we were getting into, which we didn't, by the way. And the truth is we had sat and we had cried with families that had been through like unimaginable pain through their foster care and adoption journeys. Like unthinkable pain. And those stories are out there and they're scary. And we realized walking through this with Tez eight years ago, like, man, this is scary. It is scary to commit to a kid that you don't know for the rest of your life. It is a lifelong commitment. That is a scary thing. But we also realized as we were walking through this that, man, as scary as this is, it's a lot less scary than what happens when kids don't get adopted out of foster care. It's estimated that 20% of people in our prison systems consist of adults who aged out of foster care when they were kids. 29% of kids who age out of the system without a family will be homeless by the time they turn 21. 60% of all child sex trafficking victims spend time in our child welfare system. And half of all babies who are born to a mama who's in foster care will enter foster care themselves. And so we just believe that we as the church, we as the people of God, can address so many problems if kids in our communities have Jesus and family. And if kids have Jesus and family, we make a serious impact on incarceration rates, homelessness, teen pregnancy, sex trafficking, all these things. But healing for these kids begins with Jesus and family. Now, hear me very clearly on this, Central Lutheran. Here's what I am not saying. Everybody look at the person next to you and say, mm-mm, no, no, no, no. This is what she's not saying. What I am not saying is that if your family loves Jesus, you can bring a kid who's been through significant trauma into your home. And as soon as that kid walks through the door, they're just gonna be a little angel. Probably not. Without a miracle, probably not. These kids have been through more pain and hurt and loss in their short little lives than most of us in this room can even imagine. And they will be difficult at times. These kids will be challenging at times. But guess what, church? So are we. And God adopted us anyway. So let's not think for one second that our adoption as sons and daughters of God came without challenges. Our adoption came through blood. Our adoption came through the cross. Our adoption came through sacrifice. And our God says that we were worth it. We had this scripture read this morning. I'm gonna read it one more time. Ephesians 1, 3 through 6 says this Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love, he predestined us for adoption. In love, he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has freely given us in the one he loves. As you just heard in that video, there are a hundred thousand kids who are waiting to be adopted. To zoom that out a little bit, in the United States, there are actually 400,000 kids in foster care. But the goal of foster care is reunification with biological parents. When kids go into foster care, the hope, the goal is that mom and dad would go through rehab, find stable housing, find stable employment, do whatever it is they need to do, and hopefully mom and dad do that. And about three-quarters of the time, that is what happens. Mom and dad do that, and kids are reunified. But a quarter of the time that doesn't happen. Mom and dad either can't or don't do what they need to do to be reunified with their children. And those kids face one of two realities. They're either gonna be adopted into a forever family or they're gonna age out of the system and into these statistics. That smaller pool of kids, the hundred thousand who need to be adopted, that's who the Real Hope Project works with. There's a hundred thousand kids in the United States that fit into that category. About 500 to a thousand of them are right here in the state of Minnesota. I'm gonna introduce you to one of those

Meet David And The Mission

SPEAKER_01 11:58

kids right now. This is my new friend, David.

SPEAKER_04 12:04

I've always had interest in working in cars. My uncle was a mechanic. So he said, Yeah, you come with me. Come watch me work on this car. All right, cool. Well, I remember on how to take take apart your engine and put it back together. I don't remember it entirely because I was tight. I think it might be a cooperative. My friends will describe me as like a crazy, relaxed, there's a fourth word that's like funny. And let me tell you, it might felt like that. Like a place where the sun never sets. The sun's like halfway. I love a lot of things actually hanging out with an extra row, in an extra row, I want to be able to do it. I can do some crazy good impressions of certain. Go do it right now. Great thing, I think that's not in life. You got friends, you got family, you have the time of your life. You know you have the time of your life because you have to leave someone be there for you. And I'm 17, and this is my real, huh?

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Isn't he awesome?

Common Myths About Foster Adoption

SPEAKER_01 14:05

That's David. He lives here in Minnesota, and he lives in a state where there are three, or he lives in a nation where there are 300,000 churches. So 100,000 kids who need to be adopted, 300,000 churches. So we don't need every family to adopt from foster care. We need one family in every three churches to adopt one kid, and every kid in our nation would have a forever family. That is a doable goal, you guys. We are the people of God. That is a doable goal for us. So our goal at the Real Hill Project is to make a video like David's for every kid who's waiting for a family, and then we bring those videos to churches as often as we can. We do a ton online to get these kids' stories out there. We do conferences and events. I'm speaking at a music festival in Duluth in a week. Uh, anything we can to try to get these kids out there because we're convinced in one of those 300,000 churches, maybe even in this church this morning, is David's Forever Family, and they just haven't met him yet. So we make videos like David's and then we get to share them as broadly as we can. And when we do that, we try to dispel some of the myths that we often hear around adopting from foster care. There's a lot of myths, and I'm gonna go through them really quickly. But the first myth we hear all the time is, oh man, I'd love to adopt from foster care. It's just so expensive. Which is actually not true. International adoption can be very expensive, private infant adoption can be very expensive. Adoption from foster care is free. Another myth that we hear is that these kids are in foster care because they're bad. They did something wrong. Not true. Every child in foster care is there because something bad happened to them, not because they did something bad. Another myth we hear is that someone else will do it. Someone else will take care of these kids. The state will take care of these kids. And the state can provide a lot of resources, but the state cannot provide a family. It was never intended to be in the business of building families. We as the church are the ones who are called to head for the hills. And the last myth, and truly the one we hear more than all of the others combined, is is actually this. Oh man, I would love to adopt from foster care, but I'm just too old. Which, first of all, we've heard from people who are like 36. You're like, all right, calm down. Secondly, a kid like David doesn't need someone who's gonna raise him from infancy. He needs someone who's gonna help him get through high school. He needs someone to help him find his first apartment, his first job. He needs somewhere to go home to for Christmas and Easter for the rest of his life. Family doesn't end when you turn 18. Family is forever. At the Real Help Project, our entire mission, our entire organization is founded on this conviction that stories change the world.

Why Stories Heal And Divide

SPEAKER_01 16:54

We believe that stories are this like sacred, powerful thing that God has given us. Scripture is written as a story because people understand ourselves, we understand each other, we understand the world in the context of stories. And we believe that stories can be used for incredible good and for incredible evil. Stories are powerful, and like anything powerful, it can be used for good and it can be used for evil. I'm sure every one of us in this room has experienced like the hurt and the pain of someone misinterpreting your story, misunderstanding your story, or not understanding your side of things, and that can be so painful because stories are powerful, and someone has a story about you that isn't true or that isn't the full story. I think a lot of the political division and hostility that we see in our nation is because of stories. It's the story that we tell about the other side, and the story the other side tells about our side. Stories can do damage. Stories can do a lot of damage. But stories can also do a lot of good. I'm sure we've all also experienced the healing and the reconciliation and the joy when that person finally understands our story. When our story is fully known and fully understood, and the way that that can heal a relationship and heal a heart when your story is fully known. And one of the things that is really broken about the American foster care system is when a family wants to learn more about a kid, typically those families only hear one part of the story. So here's how it works: you go online, you see a picture of little Johnny, there's a photo of Johnny, he needs a family. Under the photo, it has maybe three sentences. Johnny loves soccer, he's good at science, reach out to learn more about Johnny. That's all you get to know. Then you go through the entire home study licensing process, which is about six months of classes, paperwork, training, people coming into your home to kind of walk through uh writing a home study, which is like a book basically about your family. You go through all that, then you can learn more about Johnny. But the first things you're gonna learn about Johnny are all the hardest parts of Johnny's story. It's what's in Johnny's case file. And the only thing that gets documented in a child's case file is the hard stuff. It's the worst moments of Johnny's life and the way he responded in his darkest moments. It's everything that's gonna be frustrating and annoying about Johnny being a part of your family. And even though a lot of it might be true, it is not the full story of who Johnny is. Can you imagine if this morning when Pastor Sonia came up to introduce me, she said, Today we've got Casey from Real Hope. We're so excited to have her, but before she gets up here, we just want you guys to know some of her issues. Like terrible introduction, even if it's true, terrible introduction. Now we believe families need to know that information. We want every family to go into adoption or foster care eyes wide open and knowing what they're stepping into. But as someone who's read a lot of case files for children, I can tell you it is difficult to read that list of information, to read that list of issues, and to remember that there is a real kid behind that piece of paper. That that kid has a laugh and a smile and a weird little personality, and they can do a pretty good daffy duck impression, and they deserve a family. So our goal at RealHelp is to help tell the other side of the story, to remind families that, yep, this trauma is real, these challenges are real, there are gonna be challenges, and this kid is joyful and funny and lovable, and to tell the side of the story that kids don't often get to tell. I'm gonna play one more video about the power of stories. Check this out.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

There's nothing more powerful than a story. Every one of us is living a story, one with chapters of struggle, but also of possibility and hope. Right now, thousands of children are waiting in foster care, and for most of them, only half of their story is ever told. A case file, a list of what's gone wrong. And when a child is reduced to a case file, something essential is missing. Because every child is more than what happened. Every child carries possibilities. This is why we did the wheel project. To come alongside social workers and foster kids that every child told stories of it. For ten years, we've told hundreds of kids to effectively doubling their chances of finding their forever family. A child placed in a family changes the future for generations and strengthens the community. In the next 10 years, we're working towards finding a forever family for every child. Because stories change our world. Stories change their world. Story change the world.

Ethical Storytelling And Best Day Ever

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Because we believe that stories change the world, we take this responsibility of telling these kids stories very, very seriously. We're working with vulnerable children who have been through incredibly painful things. And we get this honor and this privilege of holding their story and trying to tell it well. And so one of the things that we do at Real Hope is what we call pioneering and ethical storytelling. So we're working to tell every child's story with honor. We want to honor them. We want to honor their birth parents. We want to honor their former foster families, their future adoptive family, their social worker. We're going to speak with honor about every kid and every person who's connected to that kid. So that when David is 27 and looks back on his video, that he feels so proud of how he was represented when he was 17. We partner with caseworkers to make sure that we are aware of any trauma triggers that this child has. How are they feeling about adoption? What are they thinking about it? Are they excited? Are they nervous? What are they looking for in a family? We make sure our shoot crews are trauma trained so that as they step into these video shoots, they know how to work with kids that have been through really hard things. One of the things we do to ensure that these shoots are honoring to this kid is we plan what we call the best day ever for that kid. So the goal is that that kid would feel like a movie star for the day. We're not just showing up at their foster family and doing a video in 10 minutes in the backyard. We are like taking kids to pottery studios, we're taking them to recording studios, we've had kids play with semi-pro football teams, we've taken kids horseback riding, whatever they want to do, we plan the best day ever for them to help them really come to life and feel celebrated as a part of their video. Some of you might be aware of these statistics. When a kid ages out of the foster care system on average, they end up costing the state, costing taxpayers, around $300,000 throughout their lives. Because they do end up in prison systems and homeless shelters and rehab centers and all kinds of places where nobody wants to end up. Making a reel for a child costs about $3,000. That's everything from getting the legal releases signed by case workers to coordinating the shoot day, travel, filming, editing, and then distributing the reel. We always send a guy and a girl on every video shoot because we've seen kids respond really differently to one or the other, depending on uh what they've been through and what they need. And so 1% of the cost of when kids age out is what it costs to make a video that will double that kid's likelihood of finding a forever family. At Real Hope, we've made videos now for 744 kids. We've seen over half of our kids get matched with forever families, and we've seen that having a real doubles a kid's likelihood of finding a forever family. Woo-hoo! Amen. Praise the Lord.

Impact Numbers And National Growth

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Ten years ago, in September of 2016, I stood on this platform as the director of student ministries at Central Lutheran, and I told this community, I have an idea for an organization that I want to start, and would you get behind it? And this community has been behind Real Hope since day one. You guys were the first church to like be on board with what God was calling us to do. And it's because of you that Real Hope is serving kids across the country. We're now serving kids in nine states. We actually just got the green light literally yesterday to start serving kids in Arizona, so 10 states. And that is because of the enthusiastic yes of this community for the heart for kids that exists in this community. And I just want you to know how grateful I am that you believed in this mission, that you continue to believe in this mission. I believe God has such beautiful things in store for the next 10 years. One of the things that makes this morning really special and bittersweet for me is that this will be my last time sharing at Central as the CEO of Real Help. About a year ago, I felt like God gave me an idea for a new startup that I've been working on that also serves kids in the child welfare system, but in a different way. And so we're in the process of looking for the next leader of Real Help, and I'll be handing the reins off to that next person and launching this new startup. I'll still be connected to Central, I'll still be connected to uh to Real Help, but the but a new leader will kind of be taking the reins. And so there's a couple of ways, as I'm here for kind of the last time in this role, that I want to invite you as a community to be behind what God is doing through this organization.

How To Give And Take A Next Step

SPEAKER_01 26:32

There's a few invitations I want to make. The first, let's see. There we go. Okay, here are the first two, and then I'm gonna share one last video before I close. Uh, give and grow. These are our two invitations. Central as a community has funded rules for over 28 children. You have been with us since the very beginning as a body, as a community, and many of you as individuals and families are supporters of our work. So, first, we'd love to encourage you to give. If you're not already, there's two ways in which you can give. There's monthly givers that give $10 a month, $50 a month, whatever you're able to do. We call those givers our studio. And we're able to say yes to a video shoot that's six months out because we know our studio will be there to make it happen. So we'd love to encourage you to become a studio member. We also have people who fund one entire reel for a child. So that $3,000 level, we have individuals, families, businesses that fund a reel. We call that group of people our producers. We make everything Hollywood themed because we're just so adorable. So we'd love to encourage you to become a producer. And then, secondly, grow with us. We know that this the choice to step into adoption is a big decision. And I don't want anybody in this room to say, oh, I've never thought about adoption, but I think tomorrow I'll sign up to adopt a traumatized teenager. Probably not the right move. But what I do want to encourage you to do is begin to think and pray and listen to the Holy Spirit in what your yes should look like. What is God calling you to do to care for the orphan and the widow? And maybe it is adoption, maybe it's foster care, maybe it's supporting a birth mom who's in crisis. There's all kinds of ways to be involved. But what I can tell you for sure is if you don't make decisions to keep these kids in front of you, it is very easy to forget that they're out there. These kids are in many ways invisible to society. So if you don't make intentional choices to keep these kids in front of you, it is easy to forget that they're out there. So here's what I want to do this morning. I I think sometimes QR codes in group settings can feel weird because you have to like hold your phone up and everybody sees you do it. And then I think people feel like, oh, if I don't show up next week with like five new kids in my family, then everyone's gonna think I bailed or whatever. So we're just gonna do it all together. So if everybody could just take a second and grab your phone. Grab your sitting, grab your phone. Even if you're not really gonna do anything with it, you can just humor me. I won't know. But let's just take a second together and scan whatever QR code resonates with you. You don't even have to do anything with it. You can just save it on your phone, fill it out later. But go ahead and scan a QR code to give and grow and be with us in this confidence that stories change the world. I have one last invitation that I want

10-Year Gala Invite And Closing Prayer

SPEAKER_01 29:10

to make. And again, because it's it'll be my last uh Sunday speaking as CEO, I'm taking advantage of this opportunity. But we have Real Hope's 10-year anniversary gala coming up this fall. And it would just mean the world to me to see as many friends from Central at our 10-year anniversary gala as possible. So I have a little promo video I'm gonna play for you. Here it is. Hi, I'm Casey Stanley, founder of the Real Hope Project, and you are invited to our most meaningful galley guest. Tonight at the Oscars, stories change the world. On October 10th, 1010, we are celebrating 10 years. 10 years of filming real time. 10 years of national expansion, 10 years of kids finding forever family. This will be an unforgettable, frightened topic. You'll hear powerful testimonies to see stories that move families to say yes, and experience an immersive night on 360-degree screen here at the brand new Roman Square in McCoy. Join us for the cocktail hour, off-stage, seated dinner, and optional standby. If you believe that stories matter, that family matters, this night is free. Grab your tickets tonight at the outskirts for an evening you won't forget. Stories change the world. We want you to be a part of this one. It's gonna be such a fun night. So I've got a QR code here for this too. Would love to. You can sign up for this on our website. Um, but this is just gonna be such a fun night, and I would love to see our friends from Central there. Central, thank you for just your unwavering belief that stories can change the world and that there is a forever family out there for every child. I'm gonna pray. Jesus, thank you. Uh thank you for your presence with us this morning. God, we thank you that you have paved the way for our own adoption. Thank you that you've written adoption into each of our stories and that you are the best adoptive father. God, we pray for every person in this room that you would speak so clearly in the ways that we are called to care for the vulnerable in our communities. God, thank you that kids are going to find families because of Central Lutheran and because of the families and the individuals that are in this room. We love you, Lord. We pray all this in Jesus' name. Amen.

unknown 31:43

Thanks, guys.